The life and times of Love and Hair

We've moved....

2010-05-27T22:34:00.002-07:00

Well blogs that is! If you have been following this blog please refer to my new blog since I will no longer be posting on this one. This blog was all about my dating life. I needed a new blog to reflect my new married life. :)

http://jandktan.blogspot.com

My life according to yahoo....

2009-05-22T10:37:00.003-07:00

People kept commenting on how out of control my email had gotten if they happen to catch a glance. I don't know why, I only had over 6,000 emails! Ha ha! What's the big deal? ;o) Yahoo keeps them for years and doesn't set a limit on how many, so why bother? I have been working on it, at least trying to get rid of the junk mail! It's funny, I don't keep a diary. I barely write on here. As I was going through these emails that date back to 2004 it was crazy how much it chronicled my life. Emails between friends planning fun events and then the pictures after. The times that I was dating on Match.com and all the guys I talked to and never met up with, or the ones I did and totally forgot about. Emails from my realtor talking about the townhouse I had bought or the house I'm in now. I even found the virtual tour link for my current house. It was also a reminder of how other peoples life's had changed. Different email address from different jobs. Different last names from before they were married. I haven't been able to accomplish this task in just one sitting, but it's kind of fun to look back and reminisce when I try. As I am quickly approaching a pretty monumental birthday, I am taking a moment to reflect on my 20's My life has been such a crazy roller coaster ride, of some really great highs and some horrible lows. The truth be told I wouldn't change one bit of it!

Busy Busy Busy!!

2009-05-12T09:40:00.007-07:00

We have been so busy lately and it's making the time FLY by!! I can't believe it is already the middle of May! How did that happen? So on the wedding front nothing really new to report. We have all the major things planned and now it's just saving time! We did get our engagement photos done and here are a few of my favorites....

We also just had a very nice Mother's day weekend! We went to dinner at Jeremy's sister's house. We then surprised his Mom with tickets to Stomp that night! The show was great! It makes me want to go see more shows! Then Monday Jeremy and I went and picked up his Mom and we went over to my Mom's house where she made us a lovely lunch! Then we all went over to Pebble Creek where the wedding is going to be. They had not seen it yet! They both loved it and are very excited! Then Jeremy took his Mom home and I went back to spend time with my Mom and sisters for my Mom's birthday/mother's day. We had a great time brain storming for wedding idea! Then had a great dinner! What a great family packed weekend! Now it's countdown to the big 30! A couple more weeks I can't believe it! Then it will only be about 5 months from that we'll be getting married! WOW crazy!

Procrastination never pays off....

2009-03-16T17:17:00.013-07:00

My dogs have been WAY past due to get groomed! I keep putting it off because of this reason or that. First it was money. Then one of the dogs went into heat. Then it was already bad and I knew she would have to go short and it was too cold. Then the money. So now it had gotten so bad I was embarrassed! I made a deal with Jeremy so he would take them. Then I would not have to face the groomer or the guilt trip of letting get that bad! Well unfortunately I have paid the price and now my dogs are BALD!! Oh my I knew she would have to cut it short but I didn't think it would be this bad! Well I guess I should say my dogs are paying the price and they are not happy! Here is the proof....

Meka ready to pose anytime! I love Macy in the background...

"Oh Mom haven't you torured me enough...."

My poor babies! I still think they are cute and love them! We are just going to have to hold off on the engagement photos till they grow back in!

Wedding fun...

2009-03-16T17:01:00.008-07:00

It was fun to go to a friends wedding while planning mine. It's also nice for Jeremy to see what the heck I am talking about for all this wedding stuff he has never heard of. I did most of the hair for the wedding, that's always fun. Plus it's good to see how my work holds up through the night. I was pretty impressed. I was very happy with the outcome! Plus we had a great time! Thanks Lisle and Denise!

Update....

2009-03-10T09:32:00.002-07:00

I haven't blogged in a long time. It's been a whirlwind. Planning the wedding and life in general. As with many, money has been a major stress! Especially when I keep booking things for the wedding on a hope and a prayer that when the time comes I can pay for it! This is very difficult since I never know how much money I will make. That is a very important variable to be missing when budgeting! I just keep planning and hoping everything will work itself out! What else can I do!? It's amazing how money can rule our lives sometimes. It's never enough. When you do have it how will you spend it? I can't believe how many people that are struggling just as much can judge you on how you choose to spend your money! Oh well on to more exciting things!...
Wedding plans so far:
Location Pebble Creek
Date November 7, 2009
We are only doing one attendant each
Maid of honer Jen
Best man to be determined (that's a whole other story!)
We are trying to keep the guest list close to 50 so very small and intimate.
I booked a great photographer that I am very excited about!
I met with a DJ last night that we will probably book as well.
My fabulous sister Kelly is already working hard on the invitations!
My Mom is doing the flowers. We just need to figure out where we are ordering from.
I found my dress!
So everything is going along smoothly!
I don't know why everyone gets so stressed out about the planning I been having fun!
Now if we can just pay for it all? That is a little stressful!
Can we ask our guest for an advance? Hahaha!! J/k

I also got a new car! Well new to me anyway! Although I loved the Volvo it was way too expensive! So now I have an '07 Nissan Versa SL. It's a cute little hatchback. It's a zippy little thing that I have really enjoyed driving. It has a few new feature I didn't have with the Volvo. Like an ipod hookup which I am very excited about. The blue tooth in the steering wheel. Which no one really like because they can't understand what I am saying. So I turn it off most of the time. Little things like that made it an exciting transition. I surprisingly haven't missed the Volvo.

So I am off to work....Pray for lots of clients! I gotta a wedding to pay for! ;o)

Wedding whirlwind...

2009-01-13T21:24:00.003-07:00

So yesterday was a crazy day o' wedding! It was extremely productive though! I went and saw the venue. It was GORGEOUS!! Way better than I could have ever imagined! Much more extravagant that I ever thought I could afford! So of course I went ahead and put down a deposit and booked our date! November 7, 2009! Then I went over to my sisters where we spent several hours talking, invitations, flowers, colors, dresses etc! Then we went to David's Bridal where I had a MUCH better experience! Thank you God! It was so nice to be able to try on dresses that actually fit me, and didn't make me feel like a fat cow! So I tried and the one I really like from pictures. It was also sentimental because it looked very similar to my Mom's wedding dress. Well it was nice but it didn't Wow me. Then I tried on one that was complete opposite of what I thought I wanted and low and behold it was perfect! I thought I wanted cap sleeves well it's strapless. I thought I wanted lace overlay well it has no lace on it. I thought I wanted simple and not puffy well it's big puffy tool princess dress! On the want list it has a lace up back, (Jeremy's request he liked that on a dress he saw at another wedding) I like that it has pearls instead of beading. It's very flattering and makes me feel skinny and pretty! So all and all it was perfect! Then it got even more perfect when I saw it was on Sale! The ticket had it for $150 less than my budget! Then the girl went to check the price and actually it was $350 less than my budget! Holy smokes how could I not buy it instantly!? So I did! In about 3 weeks of being engaged I have already chosen and booked a venue and bought a dress. I know I still have a lot to do but I feel like that's pretty good start! I still have 10 months to figure out the rest. Hopefully it continues to go as smoothly!

First attempt....

2009-01-11T12:42:00.002-07:00

I don't quite know what I was expecting but I was very disappointed with my first dress shopping experience! I had been told by several sources what a great experience they had at "I do I do". Well mine was a lack luster experience. I had been told that they would let you pick out a couple and then they would help pick out a couple and a lot of times you end up liking what they pick better. Not in this case! My girl sucked! She seemed annoyed to be helping me. She showed me one maybe two suggestions. When I wasn't super excited about them she stopped. Then she was just off in the background not even helping me. =P Then most of the dresses were way too small, some I couldn't get on at all. That doesn't make one feel very pretty. It's ok though, it was only my first attempt. It did give me a pretty good idea of what I don't like and what to stay away from. So Monday will be a crazy day o' wedding. First meet with my Dad and the lady from the venue. Then head to my sisters to talk invitations. Then dress shopping attempt #2. This time I am going to good ol' David's bridal. Where hopefully they will want to help me! Also because they have everything online. I already know several dresses I want to try on or look at. So wish me luck! =)

Full wedding planning mode!

2009-01-08T21:29:00.002-07:00

So I have been somewhat planning this for a long time, but now that it is the real thing it's a lot harder! But I am loving every damn minute of it! I know it stresses some people out, but I love it! Don't get me wrong I am losing countless hours of sleep over this and we have only been engaged a couple weeks! But it's good stress! I am so much enjoying getting to plan with my Mom. I count my blessings every day and thank God that she is still here to do this with me. I couldn't even begin to imagine doing it without her! This weekend is dress shopping, and meeting with the venue,then going to my sisters to discuss invitations etc. Last weekend was coffee and lunch with my Mom looking at books for flowers and colors and such. It's so much fun! Getting to spend time with loved ones talking about a day I've been looking forward to my whole life! Why would anyone dread this!? Oh well, whatever, I'm just soaking it all in!

The Proposal....

2009-01-08T21:02:00.002-07:00

So if you have been paying any attention at all I have been plotting... uh I mean planning this for quite some time now. So It wasn't exactly a shock or anything. I was hoping I would get my ring for Christmas but I really wasn't sure. Then a couple days before Christmas Jeremy tells me that he is not going to give it to me on Christmas. Despite all my rebuttals to his reasons why, he was still saying No. That he didn't want me to get my hopes up and he was trying to plan something else. Knowing him the way I do I knew he would not do it publicly. So Christmas morning I knew if he was going to do it, it would be before we left. So I wake up...nothing. I get up and make the stuff I need for that day wrap a present...nothing. So I go take a shower and as I am getting ready I am starting to really realize it may not happen. I am bummed! I was giving myself a pep talk as I got ready, that it would be OK, not to let it ruin my holiday, that if it wasn't today than soon and in a much better way, etc etc! So the car is packed and we are about to leave. He comes around the corner and says "you know I love you". At this point I wasn't thinking anything of it and just said "I love you too" and then realized he had his hand behind his back. Then continued and as he did got on one knee. "Oh my gosh"... I couldn't stop my mind from racing...is this it? Oh my gosh this is it! So much so that I almost stop listening to what he was saying. It was very sweet and completely perfect for us. The best part is then we were going to see both our families that day. First stop was his family. I told him that once everyone got there he should say something. So when we all sat down to open presents he said "Katie has an announcement to make"! What!? But, I laughed because that was typical Jeremy. Then on our way to my sister's house I got a call from my Dad. Jeremy had asked his permission the night before. So he was waiting for the phone call. I told him I was on my way to see everyone and I was excited no one knew yet! He said "Uh...well Kelly knows" (Kelly is my sister)Oh shoot if she knows I thought for sure she would have spilled the beans by now. Jeremy was disappointed. So I decided to take my ring off. I knew that all eyes would be on my left hand as I walked in. Plus they would never say anything because they would assume he hadn't asked yet! I just wanted to watch 'em squirm. Oh and they did. They were a little taken back at first. Didn't know what to say. I tried to keep my composer. Jeremy went and sat on the couch which was facing the kitchen where they were all whispering. Trying to figure out what was going on. Finally as we sat down to open presents I slipped it back on and held it up and asked "So...was this what you were looking for!?" They all screamed! Except my Mom who had no clue what was going on. My sister was good and did not tell her! So she was shocked and delighted! If you asked me before I would have said that I wouldn't want to be proposed to on a holiday, but this was perfect! I wouldn't have it any other way!

It's official!!!

2008-12-26T09:30:00.002-07:00

Yep after 9 years in the making we are finally engaged! Whoohoo!! I have already spread this news all over myspace and facebook which most of those that read this have both! Oh well here it is again!! IM ENGAGED!!! Can't wait to start planning officially!! I'm very excited! So this year I ended up having a very "Marry" Christmas! ;o)

Crazy times

2008-12-15T23:59:00.004-07:00

Life is crazy right now. This past week was the busiest week I have ever had in my 7 years of doing hair! That's great right!? Well for the money absolutely, but for me I'm pooped! Of course right before this week began I started to get sick! I couldn't call out I had way too many clients and no where to put them if I had to reschedule. So I plugged along and made it through some how. Then on top of that do I have time to rest in my off time? No! Of course not! We have a million things to do and events to go to. It's the holidays of course! We had a great time and I'm glad I made it to most things. Now it's shopping time. I have not bought one single gift. When this is going to happen I don't know but somehow I will make it work.
This weekend we had an ugly sweater party to go to. I was shocked at how difficult it was to find such things. I think this party theme has caught on! I went to savers, yikes! Then Jeremy tried another savers, Walmart, Walgreen's, Ross, etc. I finally ended up getting us matching sweater vest from Walgreen's by my work. Well success, we won for best duo! Thank you! While Jeremy was on his mission he found some Santa outfits for the dogs. On Sunday he suggested we go back and get them. Oh my gosh they are so flipping cute. We proceeded to then take a million pics when we got home. You can't help but laugh at this! So during this holiday season if you are not quite feeling it or having a bad day I highly recommend buying your pet a santa outfit! If you don't have a pet feel free to revisit mine....you're sure to at least crack a smile! Happy Holidays!

A little holiday fun!

2008-11-19T09:51:00.004-07:00

As previously mentioned I am not really into the holiday spirit this year, but this made me laugh!! Check it out....

http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/7KXipjrwrQKs12m3

Everybody's got an opinion.

2008-11-12T08:44:00.006-07:00

Why does everyone feel the need to give unsolicited advice or be so judgemental??
I have to admit I am a very open and honest person. There isn't much that is private and I am not willing to discuss. I guess the more you share the more people feel they have the right to voice their opinion on it. Particularly about finances! I think there are a lot of people that are stressed about money right now. Obviously! Well everyone has their own priorities. We all have to buckle down and be careful how we are spending our money. Everyone has their own way of doing that.... doesn't always make it the RIGHT way! Things are very tight for me right now. Which I am open about. Most of the time clients are complaining and I merely express I am in a bad position as well. Doesn't give them the right to judge me for how I want to spend the money I have. One of my clients was asking me for updates and I was giving her a run down. I said that I found a place that I liked for the wedding that I think we could afford. She started going off on me about how in my position I should not be considering spending any money at all on a wedding! There was always the justice of the peace! Uh ok...not that there is anything wrong with that...but so not what I had in mind. I have already figured out tons of ways to scale back and be on a super tight budget to make it work. But I don't want to have to give up on having a wedding all together! I know there is always going to be things we "want" and once we get one we'll move on to another. We just have to figure out a way to prioritize the wants from the needs and in what order they should be addressed. If I want to find other ways to cut corners and save money for a wedding that's my prerogative! Same if it's important to save for vacations, or live in a bigger house, or drive a fancy car! Whatever makes you happy! It's what important to you and everyone is different! I guess I do expect people to voice their opinion but it's even worse when they won't back down if you disagree with them! Another time a client was giving me business advise. She was starting a marketing firm for small business. Although yes it is my own business, it's unique. The things she does for other small business' would not work for me. She wanted to call all my clients asking for email address and referrals for me. My clients would be so pissed if they got a call from a third person asking that! So I kept politely declining her help. She wasn't giving up! She kept pushing and pushing and coming with other things that wouldn't really help or apply to my clientele. She was getting so defensive that I did not agree with her tactic for my business.
So I guess the moral of the story is don't give advise unless you were asked and if you do give it and it is not received well drop it! Because you know the old saying...opinions are like A-holes... everyone has one and they all stink! ha ha!

Election Day '08

2008-11-04T09:19:00.005-07:00

Time is flying by and i can't believe it! I always say after Halloween the year is over! So now it's even November!? How did that happen?? Today is election day. I think that is pretty exciting because this is the first election I'm actually voting in. I know I'm 29 and this is not the first one I was able to vote in but well you can't go back and change the past. I don't know if its just because I paid more attention this year, that I am older and these issues effect me more directly or what. Either way I am going to go drop off Jeremy and my ballots (since we didn't mail them in time) in a little bit. Of course since we disagreed with the President I teased him mine would get dropped off at the poll and his would get dropped off in the trash on the way in! ;o) Haha! Of course I would never do such things! So I guess now we'll just wait and see. I don't think anything is going to change quickly but I think that people will be relieved when they have a direction whether it was the one they choose or not. At least I will!

I'm on TV!

2008-10-12T14:07:00.004-07:00

So a while back the salon was used to film a reality show. At the time they were calling it "The Social". When I heard what the show was about I knew right away that it was really "The Pickup Artist". I totally watched that show last season because I had heard about this guy from a few clients of mine back when he only had a book and was doing seminars. So naturally I was curious and wanted to see the show. It was totally cheesy but I watched it anyway. But, back to my story... The salon was mostly using all the commision girls to do the show. I was kind of bummed and that sucked but whatever. The day came to film the show and I was booked with real clients anyway and would rather make some money. So now the show came out... I'm not doing any of the makeovers but they totally show me in the shot at the shampoo bowls! Which is kind of sad for the girls that did the show but were totally cut out. But oh well.... I'm on TV!! Now if only i thought to take my apron off and dress a little better! LOL! OH well I'm on TV! They get to the salon right after shopping feel free to skip to it! Check it out!!

Obsession....

2008-10-12T08:50:00.005-07:00

Oh my gosh I have been so absorbed in the Twilight series books! I am not usually a big reader, before this I can't remember that last book I finished! Now, I have managed to read 3 books that are over 600 pages in a week! It was a slow week at work but holy crap that is a lot. I just have to laugh at myself that the first books to get me back into reading are about vampires and intended for teenagers! Yet anytime I am seen with them people comment on how good they are and how quickly they read them. They were recommended by adults, Jen and my sister Kelly. So I am not alone! I'm really broke this week, due again to the slow week at work. So I am hoping that Jeremy will take pity on me and go buy the 4th for me. He does have the added incentive that gives him more tv time, whether it's to watch boy shows or play xbox! So we'll see, I think I talked him into going to Target later! teehee!!

Update...Went to target. When we went to check out I decided that I was going to try this gift card I had in my wallet forever. For some reason I thought it only had some change on it, but every little bit helps! So It actually had $11 dollars on it!! Jeremy had a gift card for $5 so it only cost me $0.63! Sweet!! Gotta love unexpected surprises!

Self perception

2008-09-29T06:37:00.004-07:00

I don't know how clearly I see things sometimes.
I think that I am a very optimistic, give people the benefit of the doubt, find the silver lining kind of person. Yet, somehow not with myself. I am the one person I am the hardest on. I tell myself and others lies about me to get out things that are hard or uncomfortable. I tell these lies so much that I start to believe them. Most of the time they are just flat out not true!

Growing up there were a lot of things in life that came easy to me, and there were a lot that didn't. Many of the things that I did well I continued to put my time and energy into. I have always been very creative and artistic and worked well with my hands. I have strong communication skills. I loved hair, makeup and fashion. Well I went out and found a career that utilized all those skills! Which I am so very lucky for. Not many people can do what they love and love what they do. I know I am very talented, but sometimes those lies creep up in that area too. It's so easy to have self doubt.

I do believe I am an intelligent person. I have always done well in school. Then why are there so many things that I don't give myself credit for knowing or understanding? Such as News and Politics. The truth...I don't try! If I don't know about it, I can shrug, laugh, and say "I don't know" and not have to talk about. Then I don't have to take the chance of saying something stupid. Lately I have been listening and paying attention to what is going on and at times have expressed my opinion. Well, when the opinion wasn't the same as with the person I shared it with, I was then told some of my own lies. "Where did you get your info from E! news?" (the only news I claim to watch) and "You're not even registered to vote!" I wasn't, but I am now! Even if I was not, does that mean I don't have a right to my opinion!?

Sports and Athletics...oh my nemesis! I don't even go there! I look back and realize I never even tried. These are not things that brought me joy and pleasure only pain and ridicule. If you are made fun of for the way you run, are you going to run more so you can get faster and better...NO! If you were never taught the rules and explained the sport do want to sit and watch it...NO! I am very tall so of course coaches would always approach me in school. I would laugh it off and say "Well you haven't seen me play!" the truth is I've never seen me play!

Where did these lies come from? All we have to go on is what we are told by others. Starting with our parents. I realize as I write my strengths and weaknesses, they line up with what my Mom would say of herself. We are so much alike in so many ways. I think these lies were passed down to me, not because they were true, but because that is all she knew. She was told the lies that I now tell myself.

The truth is that you really can do anything you set your mind to, but you have to make a choice. To keep learning, to keep trying, even in the areas that don't come easy. Then rewrite the things you tell yourself. Give yourself credit for the achievements you've made. No one can be great at everything, but you should do you're best at whatever you do.

Through laughter and tears....

2008-09-23T10:32:00.004-07:00

I went to dinner with some of my best girlfriends last night for one of the girls birthday. Here we are to celebrate and yet we find ourselves getting teary eyed throughout the night. Each of us was going through some kind of struggle in our own way. I think everyone at some time has a tendency to have their own little pity party. We get so self absorbed we forget that others are going through their own stuff. It helps to snap you out of it, and make you not feel so sorry for yourself when you hear about other people struggles. I think this is a great representation of a last 20 something birthday. Over the years things tend to get more complicated, So it's seems to be appropriate to reflect on where we've been and what we've been through at this milestone.
Although this was probably not the birthday dinner she was expecting, there is nothing better than a good cry, lots of laughs, over a bottle of wine, amongst close friends!

To share or not to share......

2008-09-22T12:07:00.006-07:00

Where do you draw the line between client and friends? Many of my clients I have been doing their hair for over 6 years. Through ups and downs of my life and theirs. They all want to hear updates on me, but how much should I share with them? I don't want their appointment to be a downer. Most of the time I just sensor what I tell them. Somehow, some of them find to a way to ask the right questions and open the flood gates and it all comes out. Then I question myself later, I hope I didn't say too much! I have always been very open person and keeping secrets or not talking about the things on my mind is very tough! So when people ask I can't help but tell them the truth, but do people really want the truth, or are they just asking to be nice?
I once was told by a client that she had left her previous stylist because he was going through a divorce and she felt like he was taking it out on her hair! I never want any of my clients to suffer from the stress in my life. So unfortunately one of the greatest skills of any hairstylist is the ability to shut it off. It doesn't matter what is going on or what just happened you have to put a smile on your face and pretend like everything is great even if you feel like your world is falling apart. Turn it into a positive environment and make it all about them! Which in turn makes things a little easier for me too, because rehashing everything 8 times a day wears on me!
Then the battle will be keeping things on a lighter note. For obvious reasons politics is on the top of everyone's mind. It doesn't help that I keep being told I look like Sara Palin which leads to their political views. This is a dangerous ground to tread on. Like any other workplace politics, religion, and topics like it should be avoided. I don't really follow politics very much, so I don't like to discuss things I don't really know about. Because once again when asked I can't keep my big mouth shut and say too much and always regret it.
I guess I just need to work on my internal filter. I have never regretted not saying something. So in this case less is more.
I just need to learn to Shut Up!

On a lighter note....

2008-09-21T20:16:00.004-07:00

The things keeping me sane....(in no particular order)

My pups, I can't help but smile when I see their cute little faces. That unconditional love!

Jeremy, he is very supportive and that is one less thing I have to worry about because I have no doubts about him or our relationship! No matter what I know he will be right there to hold my hand through whatever trials life may bring!

My friend Jen, best friend a girl could have! She is always there to listen without judgement or a good shoulder to cry on. Helpful and supportive without being asked. Plus most importantly she can always make me laugh like no other!

My Mom, a voice of reason, and a great role model on staying positive in times of chaos and strife.

Good clients who love and appreciate me. Who make me feel like I am the greatest hairstylist in the world!

Television, it's my worst vice! I can't live without it! DVR is the greatest invention EVER!

Yummy food. I can't help but get excited about great food!

But I can't indulge on the last two too much or else my new stress is that I am now 300lbs! ha!

Life is full of stressful things but also things that make you happy. I am trying not to loose sight of the positive and all the great people and things in my life!

Enough already!

2008-09-21T19:10:00.006-07:00

I feel like I have been having to deal with one major thing after another! Last year it was financial things that made me crazy broke. Broken arm and missing 2 months of work was the major thing. Then taxes. Then the air conditioner goes out in June of course! So I am now drowning in debt! Financial stress always sucks! Business is good but can I ever make enough to catch up!?

Now my Mom's health is deteriorating. She was diagnosed with a lung disease about 8 years ago and has been dealing with that ever since. For many years she was still functioning very well. She has been on many harsh medications that on one hand are saving her life but with so many bad side effects are killing her at the same time. I think because she has done so well for so long we kind of forgot she was sick. Then a couple of months ago we started to see some milestone changes. Starting with her being on night oxygen. The thought of this scared me at the time because it was making it real. Plus we were told that she may be able to work much longer. I couldn't imagine my Mom being at a state where she could no longer work. I was worried about this coming in the next couple years but much to my dismay it's only been a matter of months and it's to that point. She now has to be on oxygen 24/7 which is a very clear and obvious reminder of how sick she is. It's so hard to see her like that. The Dr has now told her that she would consider her disabled if she wanted to stop working. Which of course she doesn't because she loves her job and I think she will be very sad if she couldn't work. Her Dr would also like for her to see someone about a lung transplant. She is against this idea. She says she is ready to die.... we are not ready for her to! She says there will always be milestones in our life that she will miss out on, but we want her to be here for as many as she can! I don't know if we are selfish for wanting her to do this or if she is for not considering it!? So my sisters and I have encouraged her to at least go and find out the information so she can make an educated decision. She had at least agreed to go talk to them. All of this is just a reminder of how precious life is and how we never know how much time we have.

So if I wasn't stressed enough by this, now I am having stomach problems. I spent last weekend in the hospital being poked, probed and prodded. (my arms look like I am a heroin addict) Only to find out it was internal hemorrhoids. I am not really satisfied with that answer because I think there is more than that going on. So I am going to see my Dr for follow up and I can ask my questions then. Until then I am trying not to stress about it! (yeah right!!) It's a vicious circle because this is all probably brought on by stress but then how can I not stress when this is going on!? UGH!!

Relationship purgatory

2008-09-04T10:36:00.003-07:00

Waiting for the ring.... the hardest thing to be patient for in a women's life.
We have talked about where when and how of getting married.
We have been together for the better part of 9 years!
The ring is picked out.
Now....tick tock....tick tock! Ugh!
When we first started to talk about it and plan of course I opened my big mouth and told everybody. So friends, clients, and coworkers and now constantly asking, or looking at my hands for a ring. Talk about insult to injury! I know it's coming and it has nothing to do with cold feet and only to do with money, but I swear it seems like and eternity!
It doesn't' help that the last time we were together we were talking about getting married and were at the same point and then it didn't work out. So now I have some people in my life who will believe it when they see because they have heard this all before. Not that I have anything to prove to people, but it would be a nice I told you so!! ;o)
I just can't wait for it to be official and really start planning.

Oh what can happen in a year...

2008-09-04T09:55:00.003-07:00

It's been a year since my last blog and oh how life has changed!
The guy that I referred to as my "Mr Big" is now living with me and we talking about getting married Oct '09. How did we get there in a year? Well as I mentioned we had been hanging out, but only as friends. Then it came time that I needed a new TV that I had been wanting for quite some time. Well of course I needed boy assistance when shopping for technology, some translation on these things. So I asked Jeremy aka Mr Big. We went shopping and I got the tv I wanted and he even borrowed a truck from his Mom to pick it up for me. Well we just happened to stop by Bevmo while on that side of town. Then while he was hooking up the tv we should open one of the bottles wine. Then is was getting late and he had been drinking so... of course the logical thing to do is spend the night! Well you can see where I am going with this. ;o)
After that night it was a flood of questions and emotions that I was trying to ignore.
Then the next day I bought a tv stand so I guess he would have to come over again and put it together for me....and once again it got very late...;o) Then I really had to ask the serious questions... what are we doing!?.... where is this going!?.... we did have a talk a couple nights later where I was finally just honest with him. I told him that I still had feelings for him. I never got over him. That I had tried and tried dating but nothing was ever even close to what we had together. He agreed and felt the same way but felt that we should take things slow. I agreed but had no idea what was to follow....
Not but just a couple days later on my way to a pumpkin carving party.... I slipped on a wet sidewalk and broke my arm! You can imagine as a stylist what a major disaster this was! Of course the first call was to my Mother but then to Jeremy. I was uncontrollably crying he could barely understand me. I didn't know how long the recovery would take but I knew it wasn't good! He came over the next night and stayed with me and took care of me. He hasn't left since. I was so touched how he totally stepped up and practically moved in to take care of me. I couldn't hardly do anything for myself. He had always been there for me when I needed him but this was above and beyond. It was so easy to just fall back into things with him. It was never hard, it was never work with us. I had fears because I had been so hurt in the past but we had both grown up so much. We took for granted finding each other because it happened at such a young age. Then going out and seeing that the grass is not greener was a true awakening.
So I truly believe that all my hard times with dating was to occupy me till the time was right but also to show me how truly right it was! Now I can't imagine my life without him!
So now I am very lucky in love! But... now after breaking my arm, and several other financial crisis now the tables have turn. I would much rather have it this way! I will work out the money situation, that's a lot easier than love!
So that should be the end of my funny dating stories... now it will be more day to day life and relationships...enjoy!

Is this really my life.. or a SATC episode!?

2007-08-21T23:39:00.001-07:00

So I haven't written in a while and no one really reads this anyway but just to catch you up to speed. The young BF has just as previously expected decided that he can not do this anymore. He loves me, I am perfect, everything he could ever ask for in a woman...blah blah blah! So I got the old it's not you it's me crap! WTF!? Oh well I kind of saw it coming. Also I was starting to feel I wasn't really getting what I needed either because he was so confused he was half assed about everything. So that brings me to single...AGAIN! Which you know what that means...The EX! Yes, every woman does this. After any breakup you are not only contemplating what went wrong but also comparing it to past relationship. Well if you are a SATC fan you will understand when I say this one is my "Mr. Big". Of course with all the many many breakup and bad dating situations I'm sure our relationship has gotten amplified to a higher place than it really deserves. It may not be the best I'll ever get but at this point it's still the best I have ever had! So after I was dumbfounded by the breakup with the youngin which I like to compare to the Berger post it note! "I'm sorry I can't don't hate me". (I know I'm obsessed but it really does apply!) Which ironically came right after a 2 hour conversation with Big. Talking to him was so easy and just flowed, I missed our banter. So much history that you don't have to explain the background. So then when I did get dumped it wasn't so hard because I realized the things I was wanted and was trying to make him into was my ex and the relationship we had, but it could never be. So that made me feel better but confused me all the more. The dread of being single is hanging over my head once again, but I don't want that to push me back to something that probably isn't the answer. But it would make life so much easier!! I am just really discouraged. In the past it was easier to tell myself that it was exciting because you never know what is around the corner. Well I feel like I am circling the block and getting no where!! ALL my friends I will repeat ALL my friends are in relationships but me!! Usually I can handle it and am strong but it's getting to be too much. Sundays are a dreaded day. I am bored and lonely. I have lots of friends but when I call them it's "we are doing this we are doing that...." Oh screw you and your we! =P Not really but it just sucks. I think the most frustrating part is starting to lose hope. I just don't see how I am going to meet someone. I don't want to meet in a bar. I don't want to do the dating websites. I know all of my friends of friends. I just don't know!! Yet another reason the EX is looking appealing. I have hung out with him the past 2 Sundays. Luckily it has been totally platonic but I feel like I am playing with fire... and I don't want to get burned!! So what to do?? I don't know! At this point just going on one day at a time. But my fear is that I will just continue on like this and nothing will happen and I will get old and wrinkly with my dogs ALONE!! I know this is silly but every single woman thinks these things once in a while!

Sometimes you can only take so much.....

2007-07-23T11:44:00.000-07:00

When you are young and in school you have to make friends with your classmates you have to be with them all the time.... As well you are stuck with the family God gave you so work with it!
As an adult though you can pick and choose your friends. You only have so much time in the day and energy to give. I feel like I am a very loving and giving friend. Sometimes that gets taken advantage of. I don't have time for this kind of BS. I have some wonderful supportive friends that love me and treat me great! So why waste my time with the ones who suck you dry!? Someone who calls and talks hours on end about themselves, their job, their boyfriend, their ex boyfriends, their family, etc etc (when you are going through a hard time) and ask nothing about you...is not your friend. Someone who only calls when they need their hair done... is not your friend that's a client. If it's always all about them... they are not your friend! I'm glad that I have helped these kind of friends out in so many ways but if you can't be there for me too then you are not my friend. Time is precious spend it with those that really care about you and treat you well!
With work as well, my time is precious and I have worked very hard to get where I am. I have many clients who love and appreciate me so why waste my time doing favors and trying to make people happy that will never be happy! Especially when you love and am passionate about what you do you take it very personally when people aren't happy. But I guess you just have to step back from it and ask yourself...is what they are asking for reasonable? Is it possible without frying their hair off? But sometimes you just want to make them happy and you do it anyways. Then of course it's your fault when it doesn't work! What can you do it's a lose lose situation! These are the kind of clients and days that make me never want to do hair again. But that would be a shame... since I do love it and there are many clients that are not like that. So chalk it up to a bad day and lessons learned.

It's ok to look....

2007-06-20T23:43:00.000-07:00

So about 3 years ago I gave online dating a whirl. I was off and on match.com for quite a while. As of now my profile has been "hidden" and I have not used it for at least 2 years. Being bored on the computer I decided to take a little looksee...because "it's ok to look" right!? Oh my gosh it's all the same guys from 3 years ago!!! I couldn't believe it! This is sad very sad! Then I browsed on myspace because I am very active on there... nothing better there! Yikes! Where are all the nice normal actrive honest guys out there? I know I know... not on the internet. But I'm on the Internet and I think I am a pretty damn good catch!? Oh well the search continues!

An oldie but a goodie!

2007-06-18T12:53:00.000-07:00

I wrote this story about 2 years ago but I am trying to enlighten you on some of the past experiences and it's pretty damn funny! What's funnier to me now as I go back is I really didn't learn my lessons! LOL!

I had been thinking lately that I really should write down some of my dating stories because they are so funny. I usually have at least a couple to share whenever I get asked any of the following questions/comments.... 1-Why are you single? 2- I wish I was single. 3- Oh you tried internet dating? What did you think? Most of my friends are quite entertained by these tales so I thought some of you might be too. (Plus I was inspired by my friend Geoff who was doing his own blog about internet dating check it out!) So here is my first one. I will call them lessons because that is what they are. We all make mistakes and I don't claim to be any different, but I am looking not to repeat mine. So no judgements please! These are real but names have been changed to protect the guilty.
-Katie
We'll call him "Text Message Tom" I was out on a Sat night with a friend of mine. We were out in Scottsdale (site of many bad bar stories). I was standing next to a group of guys in tuxedos. I jokingly asked one of them "Prom night?" He actually started to get a little offended, but I reassured him I was only kidding. Obviously since he was in a bar he was not still in high school, or at least so I hoped! We chatted for a bit and then he asked me if I wanted to dance. I said sure! As we were walking away a girl standing close by got a little upset. "Where are you going?". I thought uh oh girlfriend... RUN! He then preceded to introduce me to his "sister". Phew! Relief! He said " This is Katie we are going to go dance" she replied "What!? Did you just meet her right now?!" (like I wasn't standing right in front of her) I smiled and shook her hand and was very polite. I did not get the same friendliness in return, but who cares I wasn't going to marry the guy just dance with him. As we walked away she made a comment to point out this was her "little brother". I said "we are just going to dance don't worry!" I soon found out he was 23 which is not that much younger than me but apparently enough for his sister to disapprove. Again no big deal just dancing! But I soon figured out why I typically avoid younger men. As soon as we got to the dance floor he started practically dry humping my leg like a dog. I did manage to pull away enough to dance normally, but would have to continue to do so. Through out the evening my friend and I would walk away for whatever reason we could think of, drinks, bathroom, etc. He always seemed to find me and continue to thrust himself into me. As the beer goggles got thicker through the night I thought "terrible dancer, too young, but still kind of cute" At this point it seemed like it would be OK if I gave him my number when he asked! I thought "Oh what the heck, he'll never call anyway!" So we parted ways w/ me thinking I would never see or hear from him again. Wrong!!! He text messaged me the next day around 3pm with "Hey sexy every time I think about us dancing last night my dick gets hard!" I was so floored! I know some of you guys are thinking " what's wrong with that?" Well, EVERYTHING! Take my advice if you think this girl is even remotely respectable and would like to see her again NEVER do this. But wait, it gets better! This message was followed by another message. This one was from Verizon saying I had a picture message. I did not have a camera phone at the time so I had to view it on-line. I had never used this service before so I also had to set it up w/ name password and all that. This whole time thinking "please don't be what I think it is!" As the picture finally was about to come up, my phone rang and as I answered it all my friend heard was... "Oh my god! Oh my god!!" and hysterical laughing. Yep he had sent me a picture entitled "Don't believe me?" and you can use you imagination from there! I then had to explain to my friend what was going on. This story ended up being the answer to that annoying question "Why are you single?" for months!
The lessons learned.....Don't meet guys in bars! Don't give out your number in bars! Don't bother w/ younger men, no matter how mature they claim to be!

Oh how the lies get better and better with age....

2007-06-18T12:43:00.000-07:00

This blog was written several months ago but was too funny and had to be reposted on here.....

Ok so as most of you know I have been single since January. I was dreading having to get out there and date again. Recently I was reminded of why it is that I hate it soooo much!! First of all why is it that every guy I meet wants to lie through their teeth to me! I don't get this! Is it embedded in their DNA!? Is is just me? I happen to be a very trusting person which gets me in trouble. I take people at face value and believe what they tell me. Which apparently makes guys think they can tell me whatever they want and I won't figure it out! Well I might be trusting but I am am anything but stupid! I have said that I don't want to meet up from myspace. This has not worked well with me in the past. That is why my page is private and I do not add anyone new unless I know them. I'm not browsing or sending friends request. I am not on any internet dating service etc. Recently I got an email from a guy that had been on my friends list forever...or at least as long as I can remember. We never really talked (you know you all have the friends on your list like that) but every once in a while I would check out his page. The last time I had checked he had a girlfriend. Obviously I am completely respectful of that. When I got this email responding to a bulletin I posted I checked out his page....hmmm now he was single...interesting! So we got to chatting and found we had a lot in common including favorite places to go. He asked if I wanted to meet up for coffee at one of these places. I figured why not! So I agreed. At this point I've seen it all so I no longer get my hopes up. All his pictures looked kind of different and so I did not know what to expect. I arrived and was pleasantly surprised when I found him very attractive. We continue to chat...and we had great conversation. He seemed to be saying all the right things! I was mentally checking things off my list we went along of the things I have been looking for! Attractive, successful, sweet, good conversation, check, check, check!! Wow could this guy be for real!? So as our current location was closing we start to talk about favorite foods. He recommends a restaurant in Scottsdale and says "you wanna go!?" I was having a great time and was actually pretty hungry so this sounded like a great idea! At the restaurant our conversation continued to impress me! Then as we have now closed out a second location we walk out to our cars and continue our conversation. This was one of those times that everything was falling into place. (or so I thought) Then he asked if I wanted to go back to his house! Uh NO! Yeah, not going to happen! He tries to assure me that this is not what I think and he just wants to continue to talk to me and it's cold outside and everything is closed. That he will be a complete gentleman. I just met this guy so of course I decline!! I said at least we could sit in the car and talk. So we did for several more hours. It ended with a little bit of kissing but nothing more than that. I left feeling like this was one of the best first dates I have ever had. A time where everything just seems to click! The next day was rough considering I only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep! I worked all day and then met up with a friend for dinner. I got home and immediately crawled in bed exhausted! I get a text from him "are you still up?" I replied that I was in bed but awake. He asked if he could call me and of course I said yes. He starts to tell me that he hasn't stop thinking of me all day. He can't stop thinking of my kisses! blah blah blah etc etc. Then asked if I want to meet up for coffee. I say yes thinking that he is talking about the next morning. Then come to realize he is talking about right now. I say no I am too tired, he proceeds to tell me how he NEEDS to see me if only for 30min. That he will let me get to bed as soon as I say I need to be. I say that I should have been asleep 30min ago and it will have to wait for tomorrow and he finally agrees. One of the other things we had in common was our love for Grey's Anatomy. He calls me after I get off work and asked if I want to come over order pizza and watch Grey's. I explain that as nice as this sounds I don't think it is a very good idea to have our second date at his house. He says that he was really looking forward to the show and maybe we could get together this weekend. I'm thinking what!? Yesterday you want me to meet up at 11pm on 2 1/2 hours of sleep and today you are going to pass so you can watch Grey's!? We lost conection on the cell phone for some reason leaving me terribly confused! When I get home their is an email saying that he is very bummed he was looking forward to this all day and is disappointed I don't feel comfortable being a guest in his home.... blah blah blah! Later he calls me back and we talked for 2 1/2 hours and I explained I felt like that kind of date would allow us to rush into a physical relationship and that is not what I wanted and I am not like that. Of course he totally agreed and even went so far as to say that he won't have sex with someone unless he is in love ( I knew this was a bunch of bull shit but still let myself believe at least half of it!) So at this point I felt we were on the same page and the show had already ended but I have DVR so said if he wanted to come over and watch it he could. He was excited by this and came right over. As usual he was FULL of compliments. It seemed like according to this guy I could do NO wrong. I was beautiful, perfect, had the touch of an angel...blah blah blah. I could go on but I won't. So we went and got something to eat came back and went to put the show on and oh crap it's a rerun! Shit, that was supposed to take at least an hour of our time! So of course it didn't take long and we found a way to occupy our time by making out. This was exactly what I was afraid of. But we did manage to keep it PG13. This went on until 4am! Finally I told him he had to go because I had to get some sleep. I think he was disappointed that I didn't let him stay but oh well he was not spending the night. Of course the next day I was again very tired but so excited this was going so great. I was a little disappointed that I caved on the in home date but felt it was not going to make a difference so it was ok. Now it was Friday and I didn't really hear from him much but was like ok no big deal. I texted around 8pm just to say hi and got a response about 2 hours later "in movie". So at this point I was thinking he is totally on a date. But, the next day I get an email talking about this great movie he saw with his Uncle so ok that's cool but now it's Sat and I had plans but once again didn't really hear from him. All day Sunday same thing. I just met him so this is fine but I was a little disappointed. One minute he can't get enough and the next min I'm hardly hearing from him. Where did the 180 come from. By Sun evening he has posted a bulletin about a game that he has on his profile and his high score on it challenging people to try to beat it. So I jokingly replied I see what you have been spending your time on this weekend. We start writing back and forth. Then this is were it gets strange! He writes me the following email...."Hi Katie, Good to see your on line still I wanted to say something that was making me feel bad but I had to talk to you about it because well its important. I do not want you to have your feelings hurt at all, ok? I noticed when we kiss your breath kinda had like a smell like you needed to floss and its been driving me crazy because when I got home i could taste it what ever it was. My cousin had cavitiys real bad and he had bad breath from it but he never flossed so i'm guessing if you floss it will go away. Your a tottal sweet heart and i wanted to tell you so you knew. Please dont be mad I didnt tell you this to make you mad just to help. If I have bad breath i sure hope to hell one of my friends would tell me so i could get it fixed. YOU ARE AWESOME KATIE I HOPE TO SPEAK TO YOU SOON!" .......WHAT!? I was freaking mortified!! For those of you who don't know me in person. I am a very well manicured person from head to toe! I have NEVER had anyone say anything like this before. We wrote back and forth and he continued to tell me how sorry he was and that I was awesome and he enjoyed kissing me etc etc. So of course I get up bright and early the next morning. Called a dentist made and apt for a cleaning bought this expensive toothbrush. You know at this point I am going to be so paranoid about this!! So then I still don't really hear from him. At this point he is telling me this but still saying how much he likes me and wants to see me and all that. I am completely confused. So I write him to say that I do like him and if he wants to talk to me not to feel akward about our previous emails and if not than i will take the hint no big deal. So I get this LONG email with the most amount of excuses I have ever heard in one email all about his business and how busy he is and that he has all this stuff going on blah blah blah. I was immediately OVER it! I responded with I totally understood and I just wanted to know where I stood and I understand he has a lot of stress and I don't want to be an added pressure to it! If I see you great if not no worries!! Well of course I got no response to this. I am pretty used to the disappointment by now but more then anything I was left dumb founded what just happened here!? It couldn't be the flossing thing because if that was the case why in then Hell would you stay and kiss me till 4am. Plus give me a freaking break...the first night he didn't kiss me till 2am after we had mexican food and the next time was after hamburger and french fries and who has the freshest of breath after making out for 4-5 hours!? Also if he was that critical screw you! Just so know I am confident enough that this was another bullshit excuse that I will share it! lol!! So it was only a couple days till I completely bounced back from my busy busy business man. Then a couple of weeks later I have still not heard from him and definitely not expecting to. When I pull up to Postino's to meet some friends. I noticed that the valet guy was taking his dandy ol sweet time but didn't think anything of it! Finally he comes over opens the door and guess who it is!? Oh yes indeed!! My busy business man is really parking cars at Postino's!? LOL!!! What!? I asked him what he was doing there and he said that his friend owned the company and he was just helping him out. Um so your friend owns American Valet!? Uh and there is not thousands of employees that could fill in!? BULLSHIT!! So apparently he was completely full of shit and probably realized I was not an easy lay and couldn't keep up with his lies long enough to get some. But all and all I got the last laugh as he parked my car! So the moral of my very long story is if it too good to be true it probably isn't! Plus be confident in who you are and what you have to offer because the kind of guys that come around and try to drag you down are not worth it and are probably full of it!

Here we go.....

2007-06-18T11:57:00.000-07:00

Well here it is.... I am a 28 year old single hair stylist. That statement is important in so many subtle ways. 28years of craziness! Single, oh how the stories flow about this subject!! Hair Stylist! I hear it all! Let me tell you. Plus I interact with all walks of life. So in a nutshell I'm full of stories that I thought I could share. Well vent is more like it! I have said before I could easily be the 5 character on sex and the city if they were still making it! So maybe we could do SATC the next generation! LOL! (oh by the way I crack myselft up....go along with it, it makes me feel better!) My writing is total stream of conscienceness, and my spelling gramar and punctuation are probably lacking but just read it like I'm talking and it will all make sense....I hope!

I am starting this at the very painful end of yet another relationship! This one lasted about 2 months. I know that doesn't seem long but it was definitely intense! I met him at a time when I was single and totally ok with it. Not even looking (really not looking, not just saying I wasn't because everyone says you find something when you are not looking!) So single for the right reasons rather that with someone for the wrong. We met at a club in Snottsdale. I don't ever meet guys in bars I have no game! Plus I have no interest in 30k millionaires that think they are too cool and would rather have size -5 big fake boobs and blonde hair over everything else. I digress... I met this guy and was having a lovely time dancing and joking...he made me laugh this was BIG! Till he dropped the bombshell he was 22! OH LORD!! BUH BYE! Well he proceded to convince me that he was not your typical 22 year old. I continued to hang out with him just to have a good time but knew this was going no where... So the night ended I said goodbye and went to leave. I got half way out to the car when I heard my name...he followed me out! I turned around but was halfway across the street so keeped going. (this was assumed by him I was ignoring him!) I got to the other side and joked "Are you stalking me?" He turned around and walked away... I was thinking I was just kidding but oh well... then he was on the next level of parking and was calling my name again. I went over. He said "Are you seriously not going to give me your number because I am 22!?" Finally I said walk me to my car and I'll think about it! He jumped down from the wall (which in my memory was 6' his it's like 12' how boys like to exaggerate lenth!) So I gave him my number. Of course he was very overeager pursuing me! (but I really liked it!) I reluctantly agreed to go out with him and our first date was one of the best I have ever had! (despite the fact he took me to a baseball game and I am not a sportsfan WHATSOEVER!!) My thoughts were that if he was going to treat me this great (better than any older guy) then who freaking cares how old he is!! So I went against my better judgement and continued to date him. The firt couple of weeks were f-ing fantastic! Wineing dining bringing me flowers...he even brought me a new dvd player because mine was broken! Are you for REAL!? I was in heaven! These things don't happen to me! (more stories to come later to back up this statement!) Then the proceding part was even more unfamiliar to me! HE starting pushing me for a "relationship"!!! Telling me he can't have friends with benefits blah blah blah...asking what my intentions where! WHAT!? Am I in some kind of twilight zone or is there a hidden camera!? I am used to commitiphobes! So I really liked this guy a lot and am loving the new treatment so I totally fell for it hook line and sinker!! Then he asked me to meet his mother ...oh it went on and on. Again I say HEAVEN! It was everything i was looking for just not in the package I would have ever imagined! So over the proceding couple of months I continued to fall in love with him (not telling him this of course!!) There are lots of stories in between which I will get to another time. But then it brings us to now... He has decided that he wants to live like a 22 year old he doesnt' think he is ready for a serious relationship and he needs time! WTF!? I should have gone with my first instincts! Lesson learned. Now I am left still wanting to be with him but am not willing to give up what I want in a relationship and if he can't handle it we are both SOL! He picked up his stuff (you know all the crap that accumulates in your house also the last remaining ties they have to you) last night. Then proceded to tell me that I know it doesn't mean much now but he really was in Love with me! (Are you trying to kill me!? ) Then leaves. Then in some final text messages tells me that it's too bad the timing wasn't right because he could see himself marrying me! WHAT!? Why are you doing this to me!? Whatever bunch of BS! In a nutshell....in the process of pursueing (because I was a challenge) you accidently fell in love with me (oops!) So now you are too damn selfish to continue treating me the way you started out and now feel guilty for it and can't handle any of it! I would say be a MAN and step up, but this in turn is my fault for dating a BOY!