Is this really my life.. or a SATC episode!?

So I haven't written in a while and no one really reads this anyway but just to catch you up to speed. The young BF has just as previously expected decided that he can not do this anymore. He loves me, I am perfect, everything he could ever ask for in a woman...blah blah blah! So I got the old it's not you it's me crap! WTF!? Oh well I kind of saw it coming. Also I was starting to feel I wasn't really getting what I needed either because he was so confused he was half assed about everything. So that brings me to single...AGAIN! Which you know what that means...The EX! Yes, every woman does this. After any breakup you are not only contemplating what went wrong but also comparing it to past relationship. Well if you are a SATC fan you will understand when I say this one is my "Mr. Big". Of course with all the many many breakup and bad dating situations I'm sure our relationship has gotten amplified to a higher place than it really deserves. It may not be the best I'll ever get but at this point it's still the best I have ever had! So after I was dumbfounded by the breakup with the youngin which I like to compare to the Berger post it note! "I'm sorry I can't don't hate me". (I know I'm obsessed but it really does apply!) Which ironically came right after a 2 hour conversation with Big. Talking to him was so easy and just flowed, I missed our banter. So much history that you don't have to explain the background. So then when I did get dumped it wasn't so hard because I realized the things I was wanted and was trying to make him into was my ex and the relationship we had, but it could never be. So that made me feel better but confused me all the more. The dread of being single is hanging over my head once again, but I don't want that to push me back to something that probably isn't the answer. But it would make life so much easier!! I am just really discouraged. In the past it was easier to tell myself that it was exciting because you never know what is around the corner. Well I feel like I am circling the block and getting no where!! ALL my friends I will repeat ALL my friends are in relationships but me!! Usually I can handle it and am strong but it's getting to be too much. Sundays are a dreaded day. I am bored and lonely. I have lots of friends but when I call them it's "we are doing this we are doing that...." Oh screw you and your we! =P Not really but it just sucks. I think the most frustrating part is starting to lose hope. I just don't see how I am going to meet someone. I don't want to meet in a bar. I don't want to do the dating websites. I know all of my friends of friends. I just don't know!! Yet another reason the EX is looking appealing. I have hung out with him the past 2 Sundays. Luckily it has been totally platonic but I feel like I am playing with fire... and I don't want to get burned!! So what to do?? I don't know! At this point just going on one day at a time. But my fear is that I will just continue on like this and nothing will happen and I will get old and wrinkly with my dogs ALONE!! I know this is silly but every single woman thinks these things once in a while!

Sometimes you can only take so much.....

When you are young and in school you have to make friends with your classmates you have to be with them all the time.... As well you are stuck with the family God gave you so work with it!
As an adult though you can pick and choose your friends. You only have so much time in the day and energy to give. I feel like I am a very loving and giving friend. Sometimes that gets taken advantage of. I don't have time for this kind of BS. I have some wonderful supportive friends that love me and treat me great! So why waste my time with the ones who suck you dry!? Someone who calls and talks hours on end about themselves, their job, their boyfriend, their ex boyfriends, their family, etc etc (when you are going through a hard time) and ask nothing about you...is not your friend. Someone who only calls when they need their hair done... is not your friend that's a client. If it's always all about them... they are not your friend! I'm glad that I have helped these kind of friends out in so many ways but if you can't be there for me too then you are not my friend. Time is precious spend it with those that really care about you and treat you well!
With work as well, my time is precious and I have worked very hard to get where I am. I have many clients who love and appreciate me so why waste my time doing favors and trying to make people happy that will never be happy! Especially when you love and am passionate about what you do you take it very personally when people aren't happy. But I guess you just have to step back from it and ask yourself...is what they are asking for reasonable? Is it possible without frying their hair off? But sometimes you just want to make them happy and you do it anyways. Then of course it's your fault when it doesn't work! What can you do it's a lose lose situation! These are the kind of clients and days that make me never want to do hair again. But that would be a shame... since I do love it and there are many clients that are not like that. So chalk it up to a bad day and lessons learned.

It's ok to look....

So about 3 years ago I gave online dating a whirl. I was off and on match.com for quite a while. As of now my profile has been "hidden" and I have not used it for at least 2 years. Being bored on the computer I decided to take a little looksee...because "it's ok to look" right!? Oh my gosh it's all the same guys from 3 years ago!!! I couldn't believe it! This is sad very sad! Then I browsed on myspace because I am very active on there... nothing better there! Yikes! Where are all the nice normal actrive honest guys out there? I know I know... not on the internet. But I'm on the Internet and I think I am a pretty damn good catch!? Oh well the search continues!

An oldie but a goodie!

I wrote this story about 2 years ago but I am trying to enlighten you on some of the past experiences and it's pretty damn funny! What's funnier to me now as I go back is I really didn't learn my lessons! LOL!

I had been thinking lately that I really should write down some of my dating stories because they are so funny. I usually have at least a couple to share whenever I get asked any of the following questions/comments.... 1-Why are you single? 2- I wish I was single. 3- Oh you tried internet dating? What did you think? Most of my friends are quite entertained by these tales so I thought some of you might be too. (Plus I was inspired by my friend Geoff who was doing his own blog about internet dating check it out!) So here is my first one. I will call them lessons because that is what they are. We all make mistakes and I don't claim to be any different, but I am looking not to repeat mine. So no judgements please! These are real but names have been changed to protect the guilty.
-Katie
We'll call him "Text Message Tom" I was out on a Sat night with a friend of mine. We were out in Scottsdale (site of many bad bar stories). I was standing next to a group of guys in tuxedos. I jokingly asked one of them "Prom night?" He actually started to get a little offended, but I reassured him I was only kidding. Obviously since he was in a bar he was not still in high school, or at least so I hoped! We chatted for a bit and then he asked me if I wanted to dance. I said sure! As we were walking away a girl standing close by got a little upset. "Where are you going?". I thought uh oh girlfriend... RUN! He then preceded to introduce me to his "sister". Phew! Relief! He said " This is Katie we are going to go dance" she replied "What!? Did you just meet her right now?!" (like I wasn't standing right in front of her) I smiled and shook her hand and was very polite. I did not get the same friendliness in return, but who cares I wasn't going to marry the guy just dance with him. As we walked away she made a comment to point out this was her "little brother". I said "we are just going to dance don't worry!" I soon found out he was 23 which is not that much younger than me but apparently enough for his sister to disapprove. Again no big deal just dancing! But I soon figured out why I typically avoid younger men. As soon as we got to the dance floor he started practically dry humping my leg like a dog. I did manage to pull away enough to dance normally, but would have to continue to do so. Through out the evening my friend and I would walk away for whatever reason we could think of, drinks, bathroom, etc. He always seemed to find me and continue to thrust himself into me. As the beer goggles got thicker through the night I thought "terrible dancer, too young, but still kind of cute" At this point it seemed like it would be OK if I gave him my number when he asked! I thought "Oh what the heck, he'll never call anyway!" So we parted ways w/ me thinking I would never see or hear from him again. Wrong!!! He text messaged me the next day around 3pm with "Hey sexy every time I think about us dancing last night my dick gets hard!" I was so floored! I know some of you guys are thinking " what's wrong with that?" Well, EVERYTHING! Take my advice if you think this girl is even remotely respectable and would like to see her again NEVER do this. But wait, it gets better! This message was followed by another message. This one was from Verizon saying I had a picture message. I did not have a camera phone at the time so I had to view it on-line. I had never used this service before so I also had to set it up w/ name password and all that. This whole time thinking "please don't be what I think it is!" As the picture finally was about to come up, my phone rang and as I answered it all my friend heard was... "Oh my god! Oh my god!!" and hysterical laughing. Yep he had sent me a picture entitled "Don't believe me?" and you can use you imagination from there! I then had to explain to my friend what was going on. This story ended up being the answer to that annoying question "Why are you single?" for months!
The lessons learned.....Don't meet guys in bars! Don't give out your number in bars! Don't bother w/ younger men, no matter how mature they claim to be!

Oh how the lies get better and better with age....

This blog was written several months ago but was too funny and had to be reposted on here.....

Ok so as most of you know I have been single since January. I was dreading having to get out there and date again. Recently I was reminded of why it is that I hate it soooo much!! First of all why is it that every guy I meet wants to lie through their teeth to me! I don't get this! Is it embedded in their DNA!? Is is just me? I happen to be a very trusting person which gets me in trouble. I take people at face value and believe what they tell me. Which apparently makes guys think they can tell me whatever they want and I won't figure it out! Well I might be trusting but I am am anything but stupid! I have said that I don't want to meet up from myspace. This has not worked well with me in the past. That is why my page is private and I do not add anyone new unless I know them. I'm not browsing or sending friends request. I am not on any internet dating service etc. Recently I got an email from a guy that had been on my friends list forever...or at least as long as I can remember. We never really talked (you know you all have the friends on your list like that) but every once in a while I would check out his page. The last time I had checked he had a girlfriend. Obviously I am completely respectful of that. When I got this email responding to a bulletin I posted I checked out his page....hmmm now he was single...interesting! So we got to chatting and found we had a lot in common including favorite places to go. He asked if I wanted to meet up for coffee at one of these places. I figured why not! So I agreed. At this point I've seen it all so I no longer get my hopes up. All his pictures looked kind of different and so I did not know what to expect. I arrived and was pleasantly surprised when I found him very attractive. We continue to chat...and we had great conversation. He seemed to be saying all the right things! I was mentally checking things off my list we went along of the things I have been looking for! Attractive, successful, sweet, good conversation, check, check, check!! Wow could this guy be for real!? So as our current location was closing we start to talk about favorite foods. He recommends a restaurant in Scottsdale and says "you wanna go!?" I was having a great time and was actually pretty hungry so this sounded like a great idea! At the restaurant our conversation continued to impress me! Then as we have now closed out a second location we walk out to our cars and continue our conversation. This was one of those times that everything was falling into place. (or so I thought) Then he asked if I wanted to go back to his house! Uh NO! Yeah, not going to happen! He tries to assure me that this is not what I think and he just wants to continue to talk to me and it's cold outside and everything is closed. That he will be a complete gentleman. I just met this guy so of course I decline!! I said at least we could sit in the car and talk. So we did for several more hours. It ended with a little bit of kissing but nothing more than that. I left feeling like this was one of the best first dates I have ever had. A time where everything just seems to click! The next day was rough considering I only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep! I worked all day and then met up with a friend for dinner. I got home and immediately crawled in bed exhausted! I get a text from him "are you still up?" I replied that I was in bed but awake. He asked if he could call me and of course I said yes. He starts to tell me that he hasn't stop thinking of me all day. He can't stop thinking of my kisses! blah blah blah etc etc. Then asked if I want to meet up for coffee. I say yes thinking that he is talking about the next morning. Then come to realize he is talking about right now. I say no I am too tired, he proceeds to tell me how he NEEDS to see me if only for 30min. That he will let me get to bed as soon as I say I need to be. I say that I should have been asleep 30min ago and it will have to wait for tomorrow and he finally agrees. One of the other things we had in common was our love for Grey's Anatomy. He calls me after I get off work and asked if I want to come over order pizza and watch Grey's. I explain that as nice as this sounds I don't think it is a very good idea to have our second date at his house. He says that he was really looking forward to the show and maybe we could get together this weekend. I'm thinking what!? Yesterday you want me to meet up at 11pm on 2 1/2 hours of sleep and today you are going to pass so you can watch Grey's!? We lost conection on the cell phone for some reason leaving me terribly confused! When I get home their is an email saying that he is very bummed he was looking forward to this all day and is disappointed I don't feel comfortable being a guest in his home.... blah blah blah! Later he calls me back and we talked for 2 1/2 hours and I explained I felt like that kind of date would allow us to rush into a physical relationship and that is not what I wanted and I am not like that. Of course he totally agreed and even went so far as to say that he won't have sex with someone unless he is in love ( I knew this was a bunch of bull shit but still let myself believe at least half of it!) So at this point I felt we were on the same page and the show had already ended but I have DVR so said if he wanted to come over and watch it he could. He was excited by this and came right over. As usual he was FULL of compliments. It seemed like according to this guy I could do NO wrong. I was beautiful, perfect, had the touch of an angel...blah blah blah. I could go on but I won't. So we went and got something to eat came back and went to put the show on and oh crap it's a rerun! Shit, that was supposed to take at least an hour of our time! So of course it didn't take long and we found a way to occupy our time by making out. This was exactly what I was afraid of. But we did manage to keep it PG13. This went on until 4am! Finally I told him he had to go because I had to get some sleep. I think he was disappointed that I didn't let him stay but oh well he was not spending the night. Of course the next day I was again very tired but so excited this was going so great. I was a little disappointed that I caved on the in home date but felt it was not going to make a difference so it was ok. Now it was Friday and I didn't really hear from him much but was like ok no big deal. I texted around 8pm just to say hi and got a response about 2 hours later "in movie". So at this point I was thinking he is totally on a date. But, the next day I get an email talking about this great movie he saw with his Uncle so ok that's cool but now it's Sat and I had plans but once again didn't really hear from him. All day Sunday same thing. I just met him so this is fine but I was a little disappointed. One minute he can't get enough and the next min I'm hardly hearing from him. Where did the 180 come from. By Sun evening he has posted a bulletin about a game that he has on his profile and his high score on it challenging people to try to beat it. So I jokingly replied I see what you have been spending your time on this weekend. We start writing back and forth. Then this is were it gets strange! He writes me the following email...."Hi Katie, Good to see your on line still I wanted to say something that was making me feel bad but I had to talk to you about it because well its important. I do not want you to have your feelings hurt at all, ok? I noticed when we kiss your breath kinda had like a smell like you needed to floss and its been driving me crazy because when I got home i could taste it what ever it was. My cousin had cavitiys real bad and he had bad breath from it but he never flossed so i'm guessing if you floss it will go away. Your a tottal sweet heart and i wanted to tell you so you knew. Please dont be mad I didnt tell you this to make you mad just to help. If I have bad breath i sure hope to hell one of my friends would tell me so i could get it fixed. YOU ARE AWESOME KATIE I HOPE TO SPEAK TO YOU SOON!" .......WHAT!? I was freaking mortified!! For those of you who don't know me in person. I am a very well manicured person from head to toe! I have NEVER had anyone say anything like this before. We wrote back and forth and he continued to tell me how sorry he was and that I was awesome and he enjoyed kissing me etc etc. So of course I get up bright and early the next morning. Called a dentist made and apt for a cleaning bought this expensive toothbrush. You know at this point I am going to be so paranoid about this!! So then I still don't really hear from him. At this point he is telling me this but still saying how much he likes me and wants to see me and all that. I am completely confused. So I write him to say that I do like him and if he wants to talk to me not to feel akward about our previous emails and if not than i will take the hint no big deal. So I get this LONG email with the most amount of excuses I have ever heard in one email all about his business and how busy he is and that he has all this stuff going on blah blah blah. I was immediately OVER it! I responded with I totally understood and I just wanted to know where I stood and I understand he has a lot of stress and I don't want to be an added pressure to it! If I see you great if not no worries!! Well of course I got no response to this. I am pretty used to the disappointment by now but more then anything I was left dumb founded what just happened here!? It couldn't be the flossing thing because if that was the case why in then Hell would you stay and kiss me till 4am. Plus give me a freaking break...the first night he didn't kiss me till 2am after we had mexican food and the next time was after hamburger and french fries and who has the freshest of breath after making out for 4-5 hours!? Also if he was that critical screw you! Just so know I am confident enough that this was another bullshit excuse that I will share it! lol!! So it was only a couple days till I completely bounced back from my busy busy business man. Then a couple of weeks later I have still not heard from him and definitely not expecting to. When I pull up to Postino's to meet some friends. I noticed that the valet guy was taking his dandy ol sweet time but didn't think anything of it! Finally he comes over opens the door and guess who it is!? Oh yes indeed!! My busy business man is really parking cars at Postino's!? LOL!!! What!? I asked him what he was doing there and he said that his friend owned the company and he was just helping him out. Um so your friend owns American Valet!? Uh and there is not thousands of employees that could fill in!? BULLSHIT!! So apparently he was completely full of shit and probably realized I was not an easy lay and couldn't keep up with his lies long enough to get some. But all and all I got the last laugh as he parked my car! So the moral of my very long story is if it too good to be true it probably isn't! Plus be confident in who you are and what you have to offer because the kind of guys that come around and try to drag you down are not worth it and are probably full of it!

Here we go.....

Well here it is.... I am a 28 year old single hair stylist. That statement is important in so many subtle ways. 28years of craziness! Single, oh how the stories flow about this subject!! Hair Stylist! I hear it all! Let me tell you. Plus I interact with all walks of life. So in a nutshell I'm full of stories that I thought I could share. Well vent is more like it! I have said before I could easily be the 5 character on sex and the city if they were still making it! So maybe we could do SATC the next generation! LOL! (oh by the way I crack myselft up....go along with it, it makes me feel better!) My writing is total stream of conscienceness, and my spelling gramar and punctuation are probably lacking but just read it like I'm talking and it will all make sense....I hope!

I am starting this at the very painful end of yet another relationship! This one lasted about 2 months. I know that doesn't seem long but it was definitely intense! I met him at a time when I was single and totally ok with it. Not even looking (really not looking, not just saying I wasn't because everyone says you find something when you are not looking!) So single for the right reasons rather that with someone for the wrong. We met at a club in Snottsdale. I don't ever meet guys in bars I have no game! Plus I have no interest in 30k millionaires that think they are too cool and would rather have size -5 big fake boobs and blonde hair over everything else. I digress... I met this guy and was having a lovely time dancing and joking...he made me laugh this was BIG! Till he dropped the bombshell he was 22! OH LORD!! BUH BYE! Well he proceded to convince me that he was not your typical 22 year old. I continued to hang out with him just to have a good time but knew this was going no where... So the night ended I said goodbye and went to leave. I got half way out to the car when I heard my name...he followed me out! I turned around but was halfway across the street so keeped going. (this was assumed by him I was ignoring him!) I got to the other side and joked "Are you stalking me?" He turned around and walked away... I was thinking I was just kidding but oh well... then he was on the next level of parking and was calling my name again. I went over. He said "Are you seriously not going to give me your number because I am 22!?" Finally I said walk me to my car and I'll think about it! He jumped down from the wall (which in my memory was 6' his it's like 12' how boys like to exaggerate lenth!) So I gave him my number. Of course he was very overeager pursuing me! (but I really liked it!) I reluctantly agreed to go out with him and our first date was one of the best I have ever had! (despite the fact he took me to a baseball game and I am not a sportsfan WHATSOEVER!!) My thoughts were that if he was going to treat me this great (better than any older guy) then who freaking cares how old he is!! So I went against my better judgement and continued to date him. The firt couple of weeks were f-ing fantastic! Wineing dining bringing me flowers...he even brought me a new dvd player because mine was broken! Are you for REAL!? I was in heaven! These things don't happen to me! (more stories to come later to back up this statement!) Then the proceding part was even more unfamiliar to me! HE starting pushing me for a "relationship"!!! Telling me he can't have friends with benefits blah blah blah...asking what my intentions where! WHAT!? Am I in some kind of twilight zone or is there a hidden camera!? I am used to commitiphobes! So I really liked this guy a lot and am loving the new treatment so I totally fell for it hook line and sinker!! Then he asked me to meet his mother ...oh it went on and on. Again I say HEAVEN! It was everything i was looking for just not in the package I would have ever imagined! So over the proceding couple of months I continued to fall in love with him (not telling him this of course!!) There are lots of stories in between which I will get to another time. But then it brings us to now... He has decided that he wants to live like a 22 year old he doesnt' think he is ready for a serious relationship and he needs time! WTF!? I should have gone with my first instincts! Lesson learned. Now I am left still wanting to be with him but am not willing to give up what I want in a relationship and if he can't handle it we are both SOL! He picked up his stuff (you know all the crap that accumulates in your house also the last remaining ties they have to you) last night. Then proceded to tell me that I know it doesn't mean much now but he really was in Love with me! (Are you trying to kill me!? ) Then leaves. Then in some final text messages tells me that it's too bad the timing wasn't right because he could see himself marrying me! WHAT!? Why are you doing this to me!? Whatever bunch of BS! In a nutshell....in the process of pursueing (because I was a challenge) you accidently fell in love with me (oops!) So now you are too damn selfish to continue treating me the way you started out and now feel guilty for it and can't handle any of it! I would say be a MAN and step up, but this in turn is my fault for dating a BOY!