Oh how the lies get better and better with age....

This blog was written several months ago but was too funny and had to be reposted on here.....

Ok so as most of you know I have been single since January. I was dreading having to get out there and date again. Recently I was reminded of why it is that I hate it soooo much!! First of all why is it that every guy I meet wants to lie through their teeth to me! I don't get this! Is it embedded in their DNA!? Is is just me? I happen to be a very trusting person which gets me in trouble. I take people at face value and believe what they tell me. Which apparently makes guys think they can tell me whatever they want and I won't figure it out! Well I might be trusting but I am am anything but stupid! I have said that I don't want to meet up from myspace. This has not worked well with me in the past. That is why my page is private and I do not add anyone new unless I know them. I'm not browsing or sending friends request. I am not on any internet dating service etc. Recently I got an email from a guy that had been on my friends list forever...or at least as long as I can remember. We never really talked (you know you all have the friends on your list like that) but every once in a while I would check out his page. The last time I had checked he had a girlfriend. Obviously I am completely respectful of that. When I got this email responding to a bulletin I posted I checked out his page....hmmm now he was single...interesting! So we got to chatting and found we had a lot in common including favorite places to go. He asked if I wanted to meet up for coffee at one of these places. I figured why not! So I agreed. At this point I've seen it all so I no longer get my hopes up. All his pictures looked kind of different and so I did not know what to expect. I arrived and was pleasantly surprised when I found him very attractive. We continue to chat...and we had great conversation. He seemed to be saying all the right things! I was mentally checking things off my list we went along of the things I have been looking for! Attractive, successful, sweet, good conversation, check, check, check!! Wow could this guy be for real!? So as our current location was closing we start to talk about favorite foods. He recommends a restaurant in Scottsdale and says "you wanna go!?" I was having a great time and was actually pretty hungry so this sounded like a great idea! At the restaurant our conversation continued to impress me! Then as we have now closed out a second location we walk out to our cars and continue our conversation. This was one of those times that everything was falling into place. (or so I thought) Then he asked if I wanted to go back to his house! Uh NO! Yeah, not going to happen! He tries to assure me that this is not what I think and he just wants to continue to talk to me and it's cold outside and everything is closed. That he will be a complete gentleman. I just met this guy so of course I decline!! I said at least we could sit in the car and talk. So we did for several more hours. It ended with a little bit of kissing but nothing more than that. I left feeling like this was one of the best first dates I have ever had. A time where everything just seems to click! The next day was rough considering I only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep! I worked all day and then met up with a friend for dinner. I got home and immediately crawled in bed exhausted! I get a text from him "are you still up?" I replied that I was in bed but awake. He asked if he could call me and of course I said yes. He starts to tell me that he hasn't stop thinking of me all day. He can't stop thinking of my kisses! blah blah blah etc etc. Then asked if I want to meet up for coffee. I say yes thinking that he is talking about the next morning. Then come to realize he is talking about right now. I say no I am too tired, he proceeds to tell me how he NEEDS to see me if only for 30min. That he will let me get to bed as soon as I say I need to be. I say that I should have been asleep 30min ago and it will have to wait for tomorrow and he finally agrees. One of the other things we had in common was our love for Grey's Anatomy. He calls me after I get off work and asked if I want to come over order pizza and watch Grey's. I explain that as nice as this sounds I don't think it is a very good idea to have our second date at his house. He says that he was really looking forward to the show and maybe we could get together this weekend. I'm thinking what!? Yesterday you want me to meet up at 11pm on 2 1/2 hours of sleep and today you are going to pass so you can watch Grey's!? We lost conection on the cell phone for some reason leaving me terribly confused! When I get home their is an email saying that he is very bummed he was looking forward to this all day and is disappointed I don't feel comfortable being a guest in his home.... blah blah blah! Later he calls me back and we talked for 2 1/2 hours and I explained I felt like that kind of date would allow us to rush into a physical relationship and that is not what I wanted and I am not like that. Of course he totally agreed and even went so far as to say that he won't have sex with someone unless he is in love ( I knew this was a bunch of bull shit but still let myself believe at least half of it!) So at this point I felt we were on the same page and the show had already ended but I have DVR so said if he wanted to come over and watch it he could. He was excited by this and came right over. As usual he was FULL of compliments. It seemed like according to this guy I could do NO wrong. I was beautiful, perfect, had the touch of an angel...blah blah blah. I could go on but I won't. So we went and got something to eat came back and went to put the show on and oh crap it's a rerun! Shit, that was supposed to take at least an hour of our time! So of course it didn't take long and we found a way to occupy our time by making out. This was exactly what I was afraid of. But we did manage to keep it PG13. This went on until 4am! Finally I told him he had to go because I had to get some sleep. I think he was disappointed that I didn't let him stay but oh well he was not spending the night. Of course the next day I was again very tired but so excited this was going so great. I was a little disappointed that I caved on the in home date but felt it was not going to make a difference so it was ok. Now it was Friday and I didn't really hear from him much but was like ok no big deal. I texted around 8pm just to say hi and got a response about 2 hours later "in movie". So at this point I was thinking he is totally on a date. But, the next day I get an email talking about this great movie he saw with his Uncle so ok that's cool but now it's Sat and I had plans but once again didn't really hear from him. All day Sunday same thing. I just met him so this is fine but I was a little disappointed. One minute he can't get enough and the next min I'm hardly hearing from him. Where did the 180 come from. By Sun evening he has posted a bulletin about a game that he has on his profile and his high score on it challenging people to try to beat it. So I jokingly replied I see what you have been spending your time on this weekend. We start writing back and forth. Then this is were it gets strange! He writes me the following email...."Hi Katie, Good to see your on line still I wanted to say something that was making me feel bad but I had to talk to you about it because well its important. I do not want you to have your feelings hurt at all, ok? I noticed when we kiss your breath kinda had like a smell like you needed to floss and its been driving me crazy because when I got home i could taste it what ever it was. My cousin had cavitiys real bad and he had bad breath from it but he never flossed so i'm guessing if you floss it will go away. Your a tottal sweet heart and i wanted to tell you so you knew. Please dont be mad I didnt tell you this to make you mad just to help. If I have bad breath i sure hope to hell one of my friends would tell me so i could get it fixed. YOU ARE AWESOME KATIE I HOPE TO SPEAK TO YOU SOON!" .......WHAT!? I was freaking mortified!! For those of you who don't know me in person. I am a very well manicured person from head to toe! I have NEVER had anyone say anything like this before. We wrote back and forth and he continued to tell me how sorry he was and that I was awesome and he enjoyed kissing me etc etc. So of course I get up bright and early the next morning. Called a dentist made and apt for a cleaning bought this expensive toothbrush. You know at this point I am going to be so paranoid about this!! So then I still don't really hear from him. At this point he is telling me this but still saying how much he likes me and wants to see me and all that. I am completely confused. So I write him to say that I do like him and if he wants to talk to me not to feel akward about our previous emails and if not than i will take the hint no big deal. So I get this LONG email with the most amount of excuses I have ever heard in one email all about his business and how busy he is and that he has all this stuff going on blah blah blah. I was immediately OVER it! I responded with I totally understood and I just wanted to know where I stood and I understand he has a lot of stress and I don't want to be an added pressure to it! If I see you great if not no worries!! Well of course I got no response to this. I am pretty used to the disappointment by now but more then anything I was left dumb founded what just happened here!? It couldn't be the flossing thing because if that was the case why in then Hell would you stay and kiss me till 4am. Plus give me a freaking break...the first night he didn't kiss me till 2am after we had mexican food and the next time was after hamburger and french fries and who has the freshest of breath after making out for 4-5 hours!? Also if he was that critical screw you! Just so know I am confident enough that this was another bullshit excuse that I will share it! lol!! So it was only a couple days till I completely bounced back from my busy busy business man. Then a couple of weeks later I have still not heard from him and definitely not expecting to. When I pull up to Postino's to meet some friends. I noticed that the valet guy was taking his dandy ol sweet time but didn't think anything of it! Finally he comes over opens the door and guess who it is!? Oh yes indeed!! My busy business man is really parking cars at Postino's!? LOL!!! What!? I asked him what he was doing there and he said that his friend owned the company and he was just helping him out. Um so your friend owns American Valet!? Uh and there is not thousands of employees that could fill in!? BULLSHIT!! So apparently he was completely full of shit and probably realized I was not an easy lay and couldn't keep up with his lies long enough to get some. But all and all I got the last laugh as he parked my car! So the moral of my very long story is if it too good to be true it probably isn't! Plus be confident in who you are and what you have to offer because the kind of guys that come around and try to drag you down are not worth it and are probably full of it!